Inggers and coons in Australia

Inflammatory, who - me?

That'sa actually a strictly factual description of the imortant news story covered in this video.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BVGsD0ZeTQ]

A totally true story!

I thought YouTube were censoring this at first because of the title but I guess something must have just gone wrong with the first upload. I bet a few people will be surprised to hear of the existence of a "Nigger" Brown stand and Coon cheese in every supermarket.

This pig needs lipstick

That heading ought to get the Sarah Palin freak squad all wound up. Relax, you uptight dickheads! I'm talking about a pig that actually matters today - Bruce the giant pig.

[youtube=http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=SahzvpievwQ]

I swear this story is true. There are even pictures!

Angry Venn Diagram

I am often asked how I decide what to write and/or do videos on. Well the thought process is a complex one. It is executed with mathematical precision. With that in mind, I present the Angry Venn Diagram:

angry venn diagram

I do like to offend people but I have to offend the just right!

Campaign advice for John McCain

I've decided I need to be more even-handed when looking at the US Presidential Election. With that in mind, John McCain needs some help. And I'm just the man to give him the advice he so desperately needs.

[youtube=http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=-c6nW40ABm4]

Never let it be said that I don't help people out when I get the chance.

This might seem familiar

I've been doing my old trick of using blog posts as scripts for YouTube videos. So these might seem familiar but I hope you enjoy them. This one is me taking this piss out of a job advertisement (thanks to the readers whose lines I used/adapted):

[youtube=http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=EJP3ats7AxE]

And this one is me going off about angry disabled people. This really seemed to touch of some seething resentment against disabled people among YouTube commenters as well.

[youtube=http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=9_vwv5eoeVw]

Angry disabled people

Having a run-in with an angry disabled person is a weird experience. If an able-bodied person gets up in my face over something it's rare that I won't lash out straight back at them. But with a disable person, that feels kind of... wrong. Even for me. A couple of examples:
I was going through a doorway at a shopping mall when two guys were walking out at the same time. It was a fairly wide doorway so I didn't see much problem. You know how when you're passing someone you do that thing where you turn slightly to the side pulling your shoulder out of the way so there's more room for each of you? Well I did that as I passed and everything would have been fine if the other guy had done the same thing.
Except he didn't. So we smacked shoulders fairly hard. And he had the nerve to go off at me and start swearing when he was the one who made no effort to get out of the way. So I turned and was about to tear into him when I realised why he was so pissed off. It turns out he's blind. The second guy was guiding him by holding his elbow so the blind dud didn't have to use a cane or a dog to get around. He was wearing dark glasses but I figure we was a wanker who wore his sunglasses inside.
With the help of his friend the blind guy was able to walk confidently and quickly. Which was the whole problem. He was so confident I had no idea he was blind. So it was all his fault for not being more obviously disabled. He should have been more blind.
Another case: there's a guy in a motorised wheelchair in my neighbourhood and he has a very bad attitude. He also seems to have supercharged his wheelchair because I've never seen one as fast as his. He also drives it on the road a lot - I'm guessing that's because he wouldn't be able to open it up full throttle on the footpath. Plus he gets to vent his frustration at the world.
Again, I'm guessing that's his motivation. He's pissed off at his life and is more or less daring the cars to end it. He's faster than pedestrians but slower than cars and he's also hard to see when you're driving and he's zipping in and out all over the place so I don't think it's a stretch to say he's at least passively suicidal.
At first I thought he was a jerk. Then I thought about it and realised that given the lot life has dealt him, being pissed off at everyone and everything is a reasonable response. I know if I ended up in a wheelchair I'd be the angriest motherfucker around. I'd run over people's toes and if they complained I'd back over their foot just to make a point.
"HEY! What are you complaining about? I'm in a fucking wheelchair here! You could drive a fucking truck over my feet and I wouldn't feel a damn thing! Count yourself lucky that it hurts when I run over you. Now leave me a lone you working-leg-having motherfucker!"

Taking the PIS

Looking through job ads sometimes depresses me because of the way they commonly spout mumbo-jumbo jargon as if it actually means something. It leaves me wanting to grab the next recruiter who uses the phrase "leverage core competencies" and leverage their core competencies straight down their fucking throat.
But sometimes the job ads make me laugh. Usually because I have a very juvenile sense of humour. Case in point: today I saw an ad for a Process Improvement Specialist in a government department. This caught my eye for a few reasons. First, it's the type of work I do. Second, it was a one year contract with the government that sounded like a complete boondoggle. Hide away in some massive bureaucracy and charge massive consultant fees for a year. Payday!
But most importantly, the acronym for the job title was PIS. Did I mention the part about me being juvenile? I wondered if I'd be able to resist saying in a job interview that the job sounded like a piece of piss?
But if I was going to interview, I'd need to come up with the right jargon. Government departments love their jargon. I considered saying that I thought the role of the Process Improvement Specialist would be to Facilitate the Adoption of Revolutionary Thinking in the department. But they probably spend all their time PIS-FARTing around already and don't need my help for that.
I also cogitated that the PIS might promote Widespread Enterprise Application Knowledge. But that sounded a bit PIS-WEAK. I'm sure somebody can help me with some other ideas.

Spring is in the air

We had our first nice spring weather this weekend in melbourne so I took full advantage of it. And I like to share. Not that I'm gloating but if you're in the Northern Hemisphere, this means your summer is just about done. And damn I like my new camera.

[youtube=http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=jDoLYH8X43o&fmt=18]

I also uploaded this video to a site called Vimeo where it looks better. Check it out:

[vimeo 1727690]

Last text message from Anne Frank

I’m planning on doing a video of my blog post from yesterday (often they way I do things) and they way I develop my videos is often I play the performance about over and over in my head to get a sense of what delivery will work best. Now you know one of my secrets. In fact, my grilfriend can tell when I’m planning something because I walk around gesturing and mouthing words. I have to be careful not to do that at work. People already think I’m crazy enough.
Anyway, I was thinking about how to play out my “tips for using the internet effectively” points. And I was thinking of ways to imagine historical figures using modern technology. And I imagined Anne Frank’s last text message:
THE NZIS WIL NVR FIND ME! THEY R SO LAME! LOL!
I’m a bad, bad person.

Kids today

I was just reading an article titled "On Stupidity" which in general terms is one of a long line of essays and books bemoaning the decline of intellectualism. The article is written by an American Professor of English (I feel for the guy, it must suck being an academic in America these days) and he touches all the usual bases regarding the problems he sees with new students.
It was, however, refreshing how positive his conclusion was. I was fully expecting this to be another "kids today" moan but he acknowledges that young people for all their perceived shortcomings may actually be better prepared for the rapid changes facing the world. This was a relief because I hate it when people reflexively blame everything on young people. I hated it when I was a kid and I hate it now.
If you could find the oldest writings in antiquity, I swear it would be complaining about kids at some point. Daubed on a cave wall somewhere are marking that were the maker's way of saying "What the hell is wrong with kids today? They've got no respect, they never listen and don't even get me started on that noise they call music!" Every single generation has copped this shit and every generation of adults think they have a harder time with kids than the generation before.
The article provides a handy checklist of the shortcomings the Professor sees with his incoming students:
Primarily focused on their own emotions — on the primacy of their "feelings" — rather than on analysis supported by evidence.
Uncertain what constitutes reliable evidence, thus tending to use the most easily found sources uncritically.
Convinced that no opinion is worth more than another: All views are equal.
Uncertain about academic honesty and what constitutes plagiarism. (I recently had a student defend herself by claiming that her paper was more than 50 percent original, so she should receive that much credit, at least.)
Unable to follow or make a sustained argument.
Uncertain about spelling and punctuation (and skeptical that such skills matter).
Hostile to anything that is not directly relevant to their career goals, which are vaguely understood.
Increasingly interested in the social and athletic above the academic, while "needing" to receive very high grades.
Not really embarrassed at their lack of knowledge and skills.
Certain that any academic failure is the fault of the professor rather than the student.
Like I said, his conclusion is very balanced otherwise I'd be kind of pissed off by what looks like a "same old, same old" list of complaints. But I would make two points about that list. First, as I look around me, that list isn't the problem with young people, it's the problem with people! Look at the debacle the "debate" going on around the US Presidential elections is descending into if you don't believe me. Young people definitely aren't responsible for that bullshit.
Second, kids don't exactly have a lot of power over the path they follow to get to university. Kids don't run the schools that fail to provide them with a better education. Kids don't run the media that is consistently doing a disgustingly effective job of dumbing down public discourse. And kids definitely don't run the governments that seem hell bent on fucking up anything and everything that might possibly make things better.
The complaints about digital media and the internet dumbing everything down really shit me to tears. The powers that be are terrified of the idea of information getting out of their control. The internet is one of the most powerful tools for the dissemination of knowledge that humanity has seen. The fact that is can be used to spread trivialities and lies is not the fault of the internet, it's the fault of people pushing lies and trivia.
Like every generation, kids aren't failing they are being failed. Instead of obsessing that the internet is teaching kids to skim and they're losing their ability to explore ideas in depth, educators and parent need involve the internet in the learning process. And for that to work, us old people have to work! It's pathetic to think in a world that is changing so fast education has to be locked into old ways of learning. The idea that the internet can't provide depth is flat out ridiculous. With one click on a search engine you can find thousands of references for any topic. It just requires a little creative thinking to come up with ways to explore depth.
Try these:
Use a search engine to research a topic. You have to use at least three different sources. You can't use anything that shows up in the first 50 search results.
Instead of saying you can't use Wikipedia because it's unreliable (a common restriction), use Wikipedia but you have to reference the talk page for each topic. Explore the conflicts/differences of opinion that are creating edits. Find other sources that back up the conflicting points of view.
Translate a classical text (poem, prose or play) into txt abbreviations and emoticons. Discuss what bits of meaning get lost in the translation. Do you think you can bring through the themes more clearly by using txt and/or emoticons?
Write a MySpace/Facebook/blog for a famous historical or fictional character.
Find someone (a journalist/academic/politician/pundit/blogger) you disagree with but you can still respect what they say/write. Explain why you find yourself able to respect someone's intelligence and/or honesty while still disagreeing with them.
Wow, why am I giving this stuff away? I should be charging some government department a fortune for saving the future like this. If you're a local teacher feel free to invite me in to run a session in your classroom. Actually, no. Don't invite me into a classroom. I'm sure one or both of us would end up being arrested. But feel free to use any of these ideas. I'd love to hear stories of any of them in action.
If you want to see a horrible yet funny vision of a constantly dumbed-down future, watch the movie Idiocracy. It may well be a documentary that slipped through a crack in space/time caused by the Large Hadron Collider. But if things turn out that bad, it won't be the fault of successive younger generations. It will be the fault of successive older generations who fail their children.

Heroin is fun

Heroin is fun*. It really is.
By which I mean, revulsion and fear regarding heroin use are so strong in so many people that even mentioning heroin tends to provoke a strong response. Also, not everyone shares my sense of humour.
Case in point: at work I'm getting one of my many drinks of high-caffeine cola I require to make it through a day. A drone cow-orker feels compelled to comment that this is an unhealthy thing to drink. I get really fucking sick of this type of comment. Usually I'd pretty much ignore it but I decided to respond.
"Well, given that I actually have very few bad habits I think I'll survive. I don't smoke and I rarely drink alcohol so let me have this vice."
She seems prepared to stop with the unwanted platitudes at this point so I probably should have left well enough alone. But she really annoyed me. So I followed up with:
"In fact, if it wasn't for the heroin I'd be leading quite a clean lifestyle."
This little throwaway line leads what I will charitably call an uncomfortable silence. She's staring at me with a look that seems to be equal parts shock, horror, revulsion and pity. I could do without the pity.
The first thought that goes through my head is "She can't possibly think that was anything but a joke. She doesn't have to think it's a funny joke but she must know it's a joke." Then I think about it for a while and realise this is the sort of unimaginative lump who gets all their "information" from nightly current affairs tabloid shows. She is clearly waiting for me to grow horns.
In situations like this, my mind tends to go a hundred miles an hour. I mentally run through multiple scenarios of how this could play out in seconds. None of the scenarios I was imagining were ending well. Every variation of "It was a joke!" had me looking like a junkie in denial. Or maybe a junkie who was getting agitated because he was strung out and in need of a hit.
Then the evil part of my brain took over. The part that thinks it's funny to fuck with repressed people. Hey, whispered my evil brain, if she's gonna treat that obvious joke seriously then go the whole way. Freak her the fuck out. Say something about "watch out for used syringes near my desk". Ask her if she can loan you some money. Or just roll your eyes and then collapse.
That last one started to sound real good. It would have a double bonus of scaring the cow-orker and I wouldn't have to finish the conversation. I could just lie on the floor until she ran away. Approximately three nanonseconds before I put this plan into action she backed out of the kitchen. I didn't hear running but it's distinctly plausible that she was sprinting for safety as soon as she was out of sight.
In retrospect, if you've just told someone you're using heroin, staring at them glassy-eyed until they leave the room isn't the best way to convince them you were joking.
*NOTE: This is not an endorsement of using heroin. If you're stupid enough to think it is then you're too fucking stupid to accept this disclaimer. Let's just go with "I'm a horrible and irresponsible person". And fuck you.

Melbourne graffiti history at gasworks

I teamed up a little while ago with another local who's heavily into the graffiti scene. I've posted lots of videos in the past showing the graffiti around Melbourne but I don't really know any detail about the scene. The guy you'll see in this video goes by the name DurtCityDestroyers on YouTube and he's running a gallery show at a gallery called Gasworks (ut's housed in an old gasworks building) that details the history of the Melbourne graffiti scene.

I'll warn you up front, this guy doesn't stop moving - he's stuck on permanent fast forward!

[youtube=http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=RT1EtM-tJrE]

Oh, and I have no idea what the story is with the bloke in the helmet. Durt said he would explain it to me but I haven't heard from him recently. For anyone in Melbourne looking for something to do, the gallery launch is this Tuesday:

"Grassroots - an urban arts experience"
Gasworks Foyer Gallery
9th Sept - 20th Sept 2008
Launch on Tuesday 9th September 7pm - 9pm

Politics

I don't think I can bring myself to make much more comment on the GOP election campaign. The cynicism of nominating Sarah Palin for VP pretty much indicated the contempt they have for the whole process but the last few days of speeches have made it abundantly clear. I am absolutely at a loss for how to respond to the lies upon lies upon lies being spewed by the neocons and they way their vomit is being eagerly lapped up by their fanatical followers.
Look, I get that the evangelicals who form a small but inordinately powerful section of the Republican base don't respond to logic. They want god, god, god and most seem incapable of understanding that there are bigger and more important issues. In fact I'm sure that they are mortally shocked that I consider the possibility of anything being more important than their imaginary friend in the sky.
I also get that there's a core of the party that couldn't consider voting Democrat no matter what. I truly understand that. To be honest, I don't think I could ever vote for a socially conservative party no matter what else was going on.
I also get that there are people who aren't fanatically aligned to the Republican Party but on balance, they honestly feel that the policies most likely to be implemented by a Republican administration will be of most benefit to them personally and/or the country generally. People have different value systems. I get that. Intelligent people can disagree. This doesn't by definition make them stupid or evil.
But I am beyond disgusted by the behaviour of the people forming the public face of the Republican party. It is one thing to be partisan. It is one thing to attempt to spin things in your favour. But these people are fucking liars. Scum-sucking, shit-eating utterly contemptible lying sacks of shit. If you don't watch The Daily Show follow this link to see some video of these lying bastards directly contradicting themselves.
They straight up 100% contradict themselves. They describe a set of circumstances one way when it applies to Obama (for instance) and they describe the exact same circumstances in a 100% contradictory way when it applies to a Republican (usually Palin). These people are contemptible fucking scum. I am so fucking angry about this.
This is not even put on the Mr Angry mask and make a ranty video type of angry. Every time I play that possibility out in my head I come up with dozens of good lines to scream at the top of my lungs. But it's too serious for that. It frightens the fuck out of me that people do not get how serious this is.
And don't get me started on the stupid bastards who say "You don't live in America - you're not allowed to have an opinion about our president." First off - fuck you! Second, how can someone be oblivious to the impact American politics has on the world? Worse still, the sort of fuckwit who usually goes on about foreigners not having a right to comment is usually the same fuckwit who actively advocates military attacks on anyone they disagree with. Third, if the US economy tanks, the rest of the world gets hit hard. And Bush and the neocons have done their level best to utterly fuck the US economy and lie through their teeth while doing it. It astonishes me the degree of ignorance that exists regarding just how close to total collapse the US economy is.
Also, you guys are our fucking allies! It really hurts to see a country you want to support being led into some truly vile actions by an administration that has devolved into outright criminal behaviour. It's like watch a woman who repeatedly goes back to an abusive partner or seeing a friend slowly kill themselves with alcohol or drugs.
The small saving grace is I don't think it's going to work this time. I think the neocons have been lying for so long about so many things and getting away with it, they don't know any different. But I think enough of the American public is sick of this bullshit. Maybe I'm deluding myself. But I hope enough people are sick of the havoc wrought by Bush, the lies spun by the neocons and the negativity of these fanatical right wingers to kick the republicans in the arse. Hard.
There is a small glimmer of hope that at least some of the media are sick of running blatant Republican lies without questioning them. Time will tell if they actually have any balls or they will run scared at the predictable and patently false claim of "liberal bias".
The false reality being pedalled by the GOP, the blatant lies that are so easily provable as lies, stuns me. I have to assume that enough Americans see through this bullshit. Because we're all fucked if they don't.

Lloyd's is pants

For those who don't know, some incredibly polite people in England use "pants" as an insult. It essentially means rubbish or stupid. In the context of this story, a particular gentleman decided to express his displeasure with his bank, Lloyd's, by setting his account password to "Lloyd's is pants".

And then Lloyds decided to show just how pants they could be...

[youtube=http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=G1ojZbRm74g]

Vice President

I wonder how much longer John McCain can delay announcing his vice-presidential running mate? Clearly he's going to wait until the Democratic convention is over now but I wonder if he'll wait until just before the Republican convention? I did a bit of online checking and people have been predicting the announcement (and getting it wrong) for over a month now. The hot prediction now seems to be Friday the 29th of August with the reasoning being that it will take some of the steam out of the focus placed on Barack Obama accepting the Democratic nomination.
Oh, and I think Friday might also be McCain's 125th birthday.
It's clear he needs something to make him appear exciting and newsworthy. The Democratic convention has been marked by a series of high quality speeches and that isn't turf on which McCain can compete. It's actually quite painful to watch him try and appear interesting and then compare that to an Obama speech. Obama is without a doubt one of the most inspiring speakers in the modern world. And you know what? If being inspired doesn't matter to you, I don't give a shit.
No, really. Save it. I don't give a shit what you think.
I wonder how nervous it makes McCain to have to follow Obama? Seriously, having to compete with someone who's young, charismatic, eloquent and inspirational when you're a barely animated corpse can't make you feel good. Oh, and John? Stop smiling. I mean it. You're scaring the children. And the adults. That scary death's head rictus that you force out on the advice of your handlers does not humanise you. It makes it look like you're thinking of eating babies.
I want him to hurry up and announce his running mate because whoever becomes Vice-President is without doubt going to become President. Let's not fool ourselves, neither of these candidates are going to survive a term in office. The Feds may have decided the meth heads saying they were going to shoot Obama didn't actually have the mental capacity to carry out their threat but does anyone doubt there's a long line of crazy crackers with guns who refuse to accept the possibility of a nigger running the country? And McCain is looking like a bad re-run of "Weekend at Bernie's". There's no way he'd survive the stresses of office.
So we're looking at the most important Vice-Presidential picks in history. They aren't people who might become President if something happens to their boss, they will move into the big chair when something happens. The reaction to Biden in unsurprising. Some people love him, some people hate him. He seems to have attached his name to some good policies and some bad policies. He certainly has a reputation for mouthing off and being a loose cannon but he also seems to have a good track record of speaking truth to power.
Frankly, the method of attack employed by the Republicans has surprised me in it's stupidity. Biden's a bad choice because he's criticised Obama before. Really? Is there a Republican who hasn't hung shit on McCain at some point? They're practically writing the democrat's attack plan for them. I'm sure the Republicans had scripts of talking points worked out for every possible nominee. They're very good at talking points. Far less useful at actually doing something helpful for the country (and the world).
I think they've been so successful in their manipulation of the media they've become complacent. They continue to treat the public like morons by regurgitating clichés completely lacking in substance because they've gotten away with it so many times. I'm desperately hoping that the American public gives them they wake up call they deserve.
[youtube=
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=naxXOjHJgGU]

I don't like the look of you

Have you ever been in that weird situation where you have to work with someone who looks like someone you don't like? I'm facing that at the moment, by which I mean there's a guy at work who bears a striking resemblance to a person (from the online world) I can't stand. They aren't twins by any means but the guy at work could easily be the younger brother of the online troll.
This has two unfortunate effects. First, every time I pass this guy at work I'm reminded of a fuckwit I'd rather not waste time thinking about. Second, every time he says something I have to fight the urge to respond "What the fuck would you know? You're just some pathetic troll who wastes his days attacking people who are actually trying to do something worthwhile!"
I have a suspicion that were I actually to make that outburst, it would be a career-limiting move.
It actually reminds of a situation I had years ago in a shared house where I really, really, REALLY didn't like one of my housemates. It was pointed out to me that this housemate bore a striking resemblance to the actor Charles Dance. This proved to be a very interesting discovery to make because it turns out Charles Dance gets killed in nearly every movie he's in.
He goes in a satisfying variety of ways too. Sometimes he's shot, other times he's stabbed, blown up, eviscerated by an alien or falls to his death. Hell, in one movie he even had a statue dropped on him. It's incredibly cathartic to watch a convincing stand-in for someone you don't suffer a cavalcade of painful deaths.
This guy actually went from being a source of depression to a major source of entertainment. Any time he acted like a total dick (usually several times a week) the situation could be remedied by whacking on a Charles Dance movie. Followed by a long household discussion on our favourite way to see him die.

George Bush - president for life

[youtube=
Anyone familiar with my videos will know I'm usually quick to dismiss conspiracy theories as stupid paranoia so you may need some explanation for this video. The dialogue comes from the web site of a group called "Family Security Matters". They're a bunch of right wing nutbags who apparently think the US should nuke anyone who disagrees with them and that George Bush should declare martial law to make himself President for life and ultimately Emperor of the world. Oh, and they have direct links with Dick Cheney.

When their little piece of freakazoid propaganda got wide circulation they were apparently surprised to learn that the majority of the population thought they were fucking nuts. They took the article down after seeing the response but not before a number of websites copied the information.

And if you still think this is paranoid, you might want to look into the presidential order that allows Bush to declare martial law and suspend the constitution.

Personally, I'm working on the assumption none of this crazy shit will come to pass and the coming elections will pass without incident. But I wish they'd hurry up and happen so this nagging fear would go away.

I call bullshit on U2

There's a story doing the rounds that claims some new U2 tracks have been inadvertently leaked and found their way online. The way it's being reported, Bono was playing the tracks so loud in his French villa that a passer by was able to record them.

I call bullshit.

We're expected to believe that the record company and presumably the band want to guard these tracks so closely that they've demanded the low quality recordings be removed from where they have appearedonline. But at the same time we're expected to believe that Bono is stupid enough to have these top secret tracks blaring out his window at full volume. Actually, anyone trying to convince meBono is stupid is in with a chance.

This is a viral marketing campaign, pure and simple. It's been a while since the news of U2 releasing music was likely to set the world on fire. But come up with a clever angle: "Wooo, illicit! You can't have that!" and the media are all over it and giving them heaps of publicity.

I'm not saying it isn't effective marketing. I'm just not sure lying to your core audience is a good long-term strategy.

[youtube=http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=c2oufRpJfk0]

Internet self-analysis

I've commented/joked before that the internet is essentially the largest human behavioural research laboratory in history. I sincerely hope there are a few PhDs being worked on that analyse the group dynamic we see at play here every day. I'm sure some great truth about the human condition is waiting to be illuminated.
While being immersed in the horror that is the internet is more than enough to make you completely lose faith in human nature, taking a breath now again and stepping back can be very helpful. Even the worst, most infuriating behaviour from morons can help you learn something if looked at from the appropriate angle.
For instance, people's tendency to slip into paranoia and conspiracy theories freaks me right out. From high end 9/11 "truth" whackjobs to the insane conclusions people leap to when interacting on sites like Facebook or YouTube. There are days when I think the majority of the planet have their brains set to a default "crazy" setting - it's the only explanation for the leaps some people make.
It would be one thing if it was only paranoid schizophrenics having conversations with the saucer people who made these crazed dives into deep chasms of illogicality. But perfectly rational people (or people who are good at covering a lot of the time) will frequently indulge in paranoid responses to perfectly straightforward situations. One example is they way people respond to a glitch YouTube has been having recently.
I suspect this actually coincides with the last "upgrade" to Flash as YouTube (like most video sites) uses a Flash player for their videos. Whatever the source, this bug has gone unfixed for way too long (at least a month) What happens is that videos frequently fail to play. When you click "Play" you see a little spinny thing that suggests the video is loading but nothing ever loads - the screen goes black.
Actually, not quite nothing. YouTube make it worse by displaying an incorrect error message: "The video you have requested is no longer available." Speaking as someone who occasionally takes on controversial topics, I am frequently receiving comments along the lines of "OMG what did you say? They've taken the video down! Big Brother is silencing free speech!" Well, no actually. It's just a shitty site with a shitty glitch.
But a LOT of people leap straight to a paranoid conclusion. I've learned to be less stunned by people's tendency to descend into paranoia. Besides, with the US Government making it clear they're indulging in wholesale surveillance of the entire population, CCTV cameras on every street corner in the UK and an internet overrun with idiotic trolls determined to fuck up your enjoyment of life, paranoid may as well be the new normal.
And then there's the tendency of people to lie. Most rational people have a healthy suspicion of authority figures and the media. Great pronouncements of truth have a disturbing tendency to turn out to be self-serving lies. And the internet has been a valuable tool in exposing many of these lies that would have otherwise escaped detection.
Mind you, the internet is also obviously a massive source of the most outrageous lies imaginable. And a horrifyingly efficient distributor of lies. Like most people, I spent a lot of time being appalled at the most egregious lies being circulated. I've spent time trying to debunk some of them. But you know what? Sometimes it's enough to take away the lesson "Wow, a lot of people tell lies. A lot of the time."
I'd love to tear down the houses of lies that the politicians live in. I'd love to expose the venal media hacks who lazily and shamelessly circulate these lies without applying any critical analysis. And I'd really love to make the gutless scumfucks on the internet take responsibility for the vicious lies they peddle. But I can't. There's too many of them. Accepting that simple fact can be incredibly liberating.
I see people lie about petty, trivial things all the time. I see people tell lies that are absurdly easy to prove are lies. Not differences of opinion, not misrepresentations, not mistakes. Deliberate, premeditated, calculated lies. And when so many people do this over completely meaningless things, how much more likely is someone to lie when there is something serious on the line? As much as the liars I've been confronted with online sicken me, they've helped me by ensuring my bullshit detectors are usually turned up to 11.
Just because it's on the front page of the New York Times doesn't mean it isn't a lie.
So the downsides of the internet have actually helped me balance my worldview. Learning those things about human behaviour is helpful. But a helpful lesson I frequently forget is that it can tell a lot about me too. How I respond to negativity can be a very good indication of how balanced my mindset is.
The worst of the negativity is always on YouTube. While I have had the occasional stupid troll on this blog, they're few and far between compared to the cavalcade of idiots on YouTube. I strongly suspect this is because interacting on a blog required the reading and the reading is more challenging than the looking YouTube requires of you. Don't get me wrong - I love the looking. But there's no denying the reading requires an additional level of commitment.
My reactions to YouTube trolls have varied wildly over the last two years, something that may well have a relationship to my mood swings over the same period. I've gone from grinding them into the ground, trading insult for insult until they give up, to having zero tolerance and deleting abusive comments instantly and blocking the worst offenders. At the moment I'm leaning more towards block/delete but indulging in the occasional slugfest when it seems funny.
But I'm very conscious of how much it consumes of my mental and emotional energy. Case in point: a little while ago, there was a particular YouTube dweeb who was really pissing me off. He was going the whole way, indulging in truly insane conspiracy theories about the motivations of myself and other people, telling pathetically obvious lies that weren't even worth debunking. And he would not shut the fuck up.
I spent a bus ride to work thinking of a way to get back at him and came up with quite a good idea for a video. I never go after individual people in videos so this would have been going after his sort of stupidity generally rather than him specifically. But it would have been obvious that I was going after him. And that made me pause.
While I have a lot of fun going after the hater mentality I've been careful not to make it about them. When I have a go at haters it isn't from some deluded idea that I'll make them change - it's a message of support to the other victims of their stupidity. Giving someone the message that they aren't being attacked because they've done something wrong, they're being attacked because their attacker is a fucking moron can really make a difference. It's easier to bear stupidity when you have a sense of solidarity with other decent people.
So I didn't make the video. Yet. I'm still going to make it because it's a bloody funny idea (IMHO) and I think people will enjoy it. But it needs more distance so it's about me doing something funny rather than simply me biting back at someone who pissed me off. The moment I made that decision was incredibly liberating. A huge amount of stress left me when I realised I wasn't letting this mentality control me.
And I didn't even have to say anything to the fuckwit in question. Because they don't count. That is something that I really hope decent people understand. Sometimes, not responding is the most powerful thing you can do. Because then you're living life on your terms, not theirs.
Living well really is the best revenge.

Angry motivational message

Tomorrow is Monday. I'm going to need some motivation. Maybe you will too.

[youtube=http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=RuIJUH8DDjA]

Just call me the angry Anthony Robbins.