I've had a few discourses on the topic of haters and negative behaviour in the past but until reading this recent guest post on BoingBoing I'd never considered that by labelling someone else a hater I'm effectively labelling myself "the hated". I found that a little jarring (which I don't think was the author's intent) because it's such a negative and (to me) submissive word.
What I liked about the post is that he was giving people who might feel alone and victimised a lifeline. You're not alone. You're not at fault. You're not powerless. Here are some ways to deal with haters. It inspired me to do the following video:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uO0EP41_TE]
When I've dealt with the topic I've always tried to do it as a show of support for other people who find themselves on the receiving end of abuse. Attacking haters can be fun but it's ultimately pointless. This is simply because there is not point to hater behaviour no matter how much they talk themselves up. They are weak, pathetic people with nothing of value to offer so they seek to tear others down.
A friend of mine once described the situation as the world being made up of two types of people: mountain climbers and ditch diggers. When mountain climbers see someone above them thy start climbing in order to reach the same heights. When ditch diggers see someone above them they start digging a hole with the hope that the other person will fall into it.
So my philosophy is: don't let haters get to you. Their attacks on you are nothing more than their admission you are better than them. You're better and they have no hope of ever equalling you so they want to drag you down. Ignore them and they'll fester away in the dark hole they've created for themselves.
And just to round off, here's a link to Ricky Gervais' blog:
http://www.rickygervais.com/thissideofthetruth.php
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
Yolog a day - day 2 Recommended reading
I thought I'd throw out a few reading recommendations. I could give heaps more but this is a start.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9gIlMJfVRk]
And here's some free stuff online:
Classics!
http://www.gutenberg.org/wiki/Main_Page
Science Fiction!
http://www.baen.com/library/
Zombies! (Start with Monster Island)
http://www.brokentype.com/monster/
Cory Doctorow's stuff:
http://craphound.com/
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Yolog a day - Day 1 Communication
I've been inspired to shift gears for a week by Anakin1814 a YouTube friend so it's all his fault. I'm making a personal video each day for a week (which is called a yolog not vlog no matter how many fools say otherwise) just to explore some ideas. In this first one, I talk about my approach to online communication and a few other things.
You also get to meet my stitch baby! The stitch baby was made for me by the wonderful Lucy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIpM0U-w5Hw
Actually, I almost re-shot this because I watched it and I wasn't very lively. But I covered a lot of stuff I wanted to and I don't mind the conversational style.
You also get to meet my stitch baby! The stitch baby was made for me by the wonderful Lucy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIpM0U-w5Hw
Actually, I almost re-shot this because I watched it and I wasn't very lively. But I covered a lot of stuff I wanted to and I don't mind the conversational style.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Horseshit and bollocks
I was just at the movies and noticed a poster for the forthcoming sequel to The DaVinci Code, Angel and Demons. A more accurate title would be Horseshit and Bollocks. I've never bothered to read any of Dan Brown's books or watched the previous movie. The list of books I want to read before that is too long and life is too short. For that reason I won't pass judgement on his writing - there's plenty of other people doing that. Whether his writing is good or bad is immaterial to why his books and more specifically the hype around them pisses me off.
Bad fiction I can deal with. But when a hack writer uses the hype of "this is inspired by the truth" to sell books I feel like getting out the angry hammer and looking for skulls to crack. Particularly annoying is how it appeals to conspiracy theory whackjobs. And in case anyone is unclear on how I feel about those brain dead, self-important conspiracy-spouting shit-weasels who'd rather jack off to their insane fantasies of how they are the only ones clever enough to see through vast conspiracies that "the sheeple" are duped by... well, I think they're just super.
I really want to reiterate that this isn't about the quality (or lack thereof) of Dan Brown's writing. I don't look down on people who read and enjoy his books. Lots of intelligent people I know fall into this category. I simply choose not to do so myself. It's the fucked up "wooo isn't it spooky that all these secrets exist" bullshit that I can't tolerate. If the choice is between reading nothing and reading Dan Brown then definitely read Dan Brown. Even ingesting the verbal diarrhoea that Oprah recommends is better than simply watching Oprah.
That goes for Twilight too. It's really trendy to say the Twilight books are shit and they only appeal to dippy little girls and Mormons. They are still fucking books! Reading is a good thing! You know what I started out reading? Comic books. And how many idiotic adults think they are trash that should be banned? I'm not even talking about deep and meaningful "graphic novels" - I'm talking trashy, pulpy comic books. Then I graduated to reading Doctor Who novelisations.
If any adult had tried to rip these from my grasp and force me to read "real books" that would have been the last thing I ever read. But because I was reading what I wanted, I enjoyed reading and slowly progressed to more challenging books. These days I even occasionally commit literature. Why do people not get this and insist on telling those who read things they don't approve of to stop that right now! They'll stop all right. And never pick up a book again.
So yeah, if Dan Brown would lay off his "it's true!" schtick I'd be less inclined to want to bash his brains out with a cricket bat. Even if he is a shitty writer.
Bad fiction I can deal with. But when a hack writer uses the hype of "this is inspired by the truth" to sell books I feel like getting out the angry hammer and looking for skulls to crack. Particularly annoying is how it appeals to conspiracy theory whackjobs. And in case anyone is unclear on how I feel about those brain dead, self-important conspiracy-spouting shit-weasels who'd rather jack off to their insane fantasies of how they are the only ones clever enough to see through vast conspiracies that "the sheeple" are duped by... well, I think they're just super.
I really want to reiterate that this isn't about the quality (or lack thereof) of Dan Brown's writing. I don't look down on people who read and enjoy his books. Lots of intelligent people I know fall into this category. I simply choose not to do so myself. It's the fucked up "wooo isn't it spooky that all these secrets exist" bullshit that I can't tolerate. If the choice is between reading nothing and reading Dan Brown then definitely read Dan Brown. Even ingesting the verbal diarrhoea that Oprah recommends is better than simply watching Oprah.
That goes for Twilight too. It's really trendy to say the Twilight books are shit and they only appeal to dippy little girls and Mormons. They are still fucking books! Reading is a good thing! You know what I started out reading? Comic books. And how many idiotic adults think they are trash that should be banned? I'm not even talking about deep and meaningful "graphic novels" - I'm talking trashy, pulpy comic books. Then I graduated to reading Doctor Who novelisations.
If any adult had tried to rip these from my grasp and force me to read "real books" that would have been the last thing I ever read. But because I was reading what I wanted, I enjoyed reading and slowly progressed to more challenging books. These days I even occasionally commit literature. Why do people not get this and insist on telling those who read things they don't approve of to stop that right now! They'll stop all right. And never pick up a book again.
So yeah, if Dan Brown would lay off his "it's true!" schtick I'd be less inclined to want to bash his brains out with a cricket bat. Even if he is a shitty writer.
Sunday, February 01, 2009
800 videos
Waaaaaay back in June 2006 when I started on YouTube, I wouldn't have believed I'd manage to make over 800 videos. After the fact it seems to have been very easy to do. I hate to think where this creative energy would have ended up without this. I suspect there would have been heads on sticks at the bottom of my garden.
As is usual for my 100 milestone, I've done a compilation of clips of videos 701-799. If you have a spare 15 minutes, sit back and enjoy!
[youtube=http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=xLciicFYzdQ]
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
AngryAussie has a wet sticky crotch on YouTube
As promised, I made a video of my recent blog post where I lose it over my lunch dumping a bunch of meat juice in my crotch. It seemed fitting to resurrect the angry mask.
[youtube=http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlntCrCZ1Q4]
Monday, January 12, 2009
Stick crotch
I haven't railed angrily at any of life's little injustices recently but holy fuck I'm angry right now! I am a creature of habit with many things but particularly with food. If I find something for lunch that I like I tend to get it reasonably often. Knowing I'm going to enjoy food is more important to me than variety.
One of my favourite lunches near my current workplace is relatively simple. It's a wrap: marinated chicken cooked on a grill with bacon, cheese, pineapple and salad wrapped in toasted flat bread. This was my lunch today. It was a taste sensation as usual. What wasn't usual was when it dumped a load of food juices right in my crotch. Gross, sticky and embarrassing. Because it's all over my fucking crotch.
I tell you, if I'm going to end up with sticky juices covering my crotch I want them to get there the fun way!
What really pisses me off is this only happened because they changed the fucking packaging! Prior to today, the wraps always came in these touch paper bags. The yummy fresh food and sauce alway runs out of the wrap because it's hot. This bag NEVER let the sauce escape - I guess it was treated somehow to not go soggy.
Today the wrap comes with a continuous piece of paper wrapped around it. This has two effects. One, it's harder to unwrap and get at my food. Two, IT DUMPED THE FUCKING FOOD JUICES INTO MY FUCKING CROTCH!
I don't want to hear that I should be more careful or eat it over a plate or any common sense shit like that! I fucking hate it when somebody changes something that works as a cost cutting measure (probably) and introduces a fucking problem that didn't exist before! FUCK!
The one saving grace is I'm wearing dark pants (like I do 90% of the time at work) so I just spent a few minutes at the bathroom sink splashing water on my crotch trying to get the sticky stuff off. I never thought I'd have to say that again. Then I used the hand dryer to try and dry my pants (I learned through experience to not use paper towel - then your crotch is covered in white fluff). So I'm essentially dry humping the hand dryer like Mr Bean and of course someone walked in. I acted casual and pretended there was nothing wrong with my posture.
FUCK I am in a bad mood at the moment!
One of my favourite lunches near my current workplace is relatively simple. It's a wrap: marinated chicken cooked on a grill with bacon, cheese, pineapple and salad wrapped in toasted flat bread. This was my lunch today. It was a taste sensation as usual. What wasn't usual was when it dumped a load of food juices right in my crotch. Gross, sticky and embarrassing. Because it's all over my fucking crotch.
I tell you, if I'm going to end up with sticky juices covering my crotch I want them to get there the fun way!
What really pisses me off is this only happened because they changed the fucking packaging! Prior to today, the wraps always came in these touch paper bags. The yummy fresh food and sauce alway runs out of the wrap because it's hot. This bag NEVER let the sauce escape - I guess it was treated somehow to not go soggy.
Today the wrap comes with a continuous piece of paper wrapped around it. This has two effects. One, it's harder to unwrap and get at my food. Two, IT DUMPED THE FUCKING FOOD JUICES INTO MY FUCKING CROTCH!
I don't want to hear that I should be more careful or eat it over a plate or any common sense shit like that! I fucking hate it when somebody changes something that works as a cost cutting measure (probably) and introduces a fucking problem that didn't exist before! FUCK!
The one saving grace is I'm wearing dark pants (like I do 90% of the time at work) so I just spent a few minutes at the bathroom sink splashing water on my crotch trying to get the sticky stuff off. I never thought I'd have to say that again. Then I used the hand dryer to try and dry my pants (I learned through experience to not use paper towel - then your crotch is covered in white fluff). So I'm essentially dry humping the hand dryer like Mr Bean and of course someone walked in. I acted casual and pretended there was nothing wrong with my posture.
FUCK I am in a bad mood at the moment!
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Monday, January 05, 2009
Funny if you're good enough
One of the challenges you face if you try to entertain people with humour is deciding on what is an "appropriate" topic for comedy or satire. Clearly, I don't mind if I piss people off and frequently set out to do it on purpose. By the same token, I do have an internal censor of sorts but it leans more towards "is that funny enough to get away with it?" than "am I allowed to say that?"
I was reminded of this conundrum when reading about how Ricky Gervais has upset a few people this week by picking on fat people in a podcast. I'd seen his DVD "Fame" recently where he also ripped on fat people ("not a disease") so I had a fair feeling for the tone of his podcast when I saw a partial transcript. Suffice to say that he thinks fat people shouldn't be treated gently.
I have all three standup DVDs he's released and one thing that was a real eye-opener for me in all of them was how aggressively he went for what could be regarded as soft targets. I know he isn't to everyone's taste but anyone who can make me laugh at jokes at the expense of kids with cancer is all right by me.
Gervais (to me at least) is a classic example of it isn't what you make jokes about that matters, it's how good you are. The fact that some people are confronted and upset by some of his jokes isn't in and of itself a measure of their quality. After all, I doubt that the initial publication of Jonathan Swift's "A Modest Proposal" was greeted with universal acclaim as a masterpiece of satire ("He's saying we should eat Irish babies - he's a very bad man!")
The world is, of course, littered with the putrid corpses of jokes that died horrible public deaths when the comedian in question was simply trying to be offensive for shock value and failed to remember the "be funny" part of the equation (doubtless I've committed this humourcide many times). The best recent example for me is still when Michael Richards (Seinfeld's "Kramer") imploded on stage and repeatedly brayed "nigger" at an audience member. You don't try that shit unless you're really, really good.
But if you're good, and daring, you can go right out there and make jokes about paedophilia:
[googlevideo=http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=9031532194656768989]
To be accurate, the target of the satire in that video from Britain's "Brass Eye" is actually the hysteria that was surrounding paedophilia at the time rather than saying paedophilia itself is funny. The first time I saw that I almost couldn't believe someone would take the risk of going that far. I don't know how many death threats the makers of the show received but they won't be getting invited to tea at Buckingham Palace any time soon.
Which is something else that not enough people consider before they do something (and I'm not limiting this to attempts at comedy): be prepared for the consequences. To white guys who say they should be able to say nigger because it's free speech I say sure you should. Just be prepared for people to decide they don't want to be around someone who spouts racist crap. I know a lot of what I've done, particularly on YouTube, could have an adverse affect on some people's opinion of me. It could mean I don't get a particular job at some point. I made a conscious choice in that regard:
Fuck it.
I've never taken a video down and I stand by everything I've ever done on YouTube. It may not all be comedy gold but it's all me.
I was reminded of this conundrum when reading about how Ricky Gervais has upset a few people this week by picking on fat people in a podcast. I'd seen his DVD "Fame" recently where he also ripped on fat people ("not a disease") so I had a fair feeling for the tone of his podcast when I saw a partial transcript. Suffice to say that he thinks fat people shouldn't be treated gently.
I have all three standup DVDs he's released and one thing that was a real eye-opener for me in all of them was how aggressively he went for what could be regarded as soft targets. I know he isn't to everyone's taste but anyone who can make me laugh at jokes at the expense of kids with cancer is all right by me.
Gervais (to me at least) is a classic example of it isn't what you make jokes about that matters, it's how good you are. The fact that some people are confronted and upset by some of his jokes isn't in and of itself a measure of their quality. After all, I doubt that the initial publication of Jonathan Swift's "A Modest Proposal" was greeted with universal acclaim as a masterpiece of satire ("He's saying we should eat Irish babies - he's a very bad man!")
The world is, of course, littered with the putrid corpses of jokes that died horrible public deaths when the comedian in question was simply trying to be offensive for shock value and failed to remember the "be funny" part of the equation (doubtless I've committed this humourcide many times). The best recent example for me is still when Michael Richards (Seinfeld's "Kramer") imploded on stage and repeatedly brayed "nigger" at an audience member. You don't try that shit unless you're really, really good.
But if you're good, and daring, you can go right out there and make jokes about paedophilia:
[googlevideo=http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=9031532194656768989]
To be accurate, the target of the satire in that video from Britain's "Brass Eye" is actually the hysteria that was surrounding paedophilia at the time rather than saying paedophilia itself is funny. The first time I saw that I almost couldn't believe someone would take the risk of going that far. I don't know how many death threats the makers of the show received but they won't be getting invited to tea at Buckingham Palace any time soon.
Which is something else that not enough people consider before they do something (and I'm not limiting this to attempts at comedy): be prepared for the consequences. To white guys who say they should be able to say nigger because it's free speech I say sure you should. Just be prepared for people to decide they don't want to be around someone who spouts racist crap. I know a lot of what I've done, particularly on YouTube, could have an adverse affect on some people's opinion of me. It could mean I don't get a particular job at some point. I made a conscious choice in that regard:
Fuck it.
I've never taken a video down and I stand by everything I've ever done on YouTube. It may not all be comedy gold but it's all me.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Conspiracy theorists - STFU!
The absurd number of random, off-topic comments I have been getting on YouTube lately from conspiracy theorists has pushed me to far. Time to strike back in the only way I know how - lots of swearing and shouting!
[youtube=http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=o0AIeN_AxBQ]
And don't take it personally Alan, Despite the fact we disagree on a range of topics I consider you a person who puts forward their views rationally without being aggressive or insulting. Unlike the pea-brained morons I am beset by on YouTube.
[youtube=http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=o0AIeN_AxBQ]
And don't take it personally Alan, Despite the fact we disagree on a range of topics I consider you a person who puts forward their views rationally without being aggressive or insulting. Unlike the pea-brained morons I am beset by on YouTube.
Friday, December 12, 2008
YouTube in the news
There's an interesting article in today's New York Times about YouTubers who are actually making a living doing videos. Prominently featured are two of my friends from the site, Michael Buckley of "What the Buck" and Cory Williams of SMP Films.
It's good to see some non-hysterical coverage from a mainstream media outlet, pity the same can't be said for a lot of the people who read the article. The comments from the readers are amusing in their bitterness and ignorance. My personal favourite said :
"Nice to know that someone making amateur Youtube videos (they are a bit entertaining I admit)makes more money than most people I know, with advanced degrees that work 60 hour weeks in offices.
Time to think of a new career path or at least a way to pay off those undergrad and graduate student loans."
No shit, Sherlock! If you know people who spent years at university racking up massive debts only to end up in dead end jobs it's fucking obvious they should wake the fuck up! It appears they didn't learn many worthwhile lessons in their studies.
Anyway, this is as good an excuse as any to post a video I made with the fabulously wealthy Cory while I was visiting him in the US recently. Oh, and for those who are interested, I make more like $100 a month from YouTube rather than the $100,000 per year Mr Buckley is lucky enough to be making!
[youtube=http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=1HKCTQ-VOIM]
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
YouTube censorship
So, YouTube have announced changes to some of their policies regarding the content of uploaded videos. Many in the mob are screaming "censorship!" and technically they're right. It does qualify as censorship but it's hardly new - YouTube has always placed restrictions on what they regard as acceptable content. It hardly seems like the end of the world to me and I'm even hopeful that one or two of the changes might actually improve the site.
Breaking it down, YT seem to have two main goals. First is to randomly generate the thumbnail for videos to fight what's commonly referred to as "thumbnail cheating" and second is to remove or at least demote the more "adult" content from the "most viewed" etc. lists of videos.
The change to thumbnails isn't going to generate a significant outcry. For those who don't know, prior to this change, YouTube chose the exact centre frame of video to represent that video as a thumbnail. Once you knew that you could edit your video in such a way that you controlled what would appear in the thumbnail. People have been complaining for years that showing boobies (or the suggestion of boobies or something similar) automatically grabbed a huge number of video views and many high profile YouTubers were accused of gaming the system.
I know from my own depressing experience that this works. My most viewed video was one where I exploited this. Horny desperadoes who were fooled by the hot babe in the thumbnail and/or the deceptive description were instead lectured by me on the perils of excessive masturbation. Two millions views later I wonder why I bothered. That statistic is really depressing to someone who puts a lot of effort into most of their videos (my highest views for non-thumbnail cheating video is about 300,000). It will kind of suck to not be able to choose how a video is represented (a grey blur does not attract many viewers) but if it stops the boobie thumbnails I guess it's kinda worth it. [update: I've noticed YouTube is giving the opportunity to upload a specific image as the thumbnail but they threaten to cane you if you break their guidelines]
The demoting of "adult" content is where it gets interesting. One of the main ways to get your videos seen by new and/or casual YouTube viewers is by appearing on one of their "Most..." lists. If your video is "flagged" as inappropriate then you don't appear on these lists (or the video may be removed altogether) and so your video is likely to get viewed less overall. Admittedly, this has a bigger effect on people who are already reasonably popular. YouTube hasn't said they'll be deleting more videos but they have said they'll be broadening their definition of "adult" and any videos identified as such will be removed from the listings.
The fact that prominently displayed boobie cleavage and booty shaking will disappear from the "most viewed" videos will be a massive relief to most YouTubers. By "most" I mean those not blessed with nubile female bodies that can attract crowds simply by parading around while scantily clad. There, I'm jealous, I admit it. Also to fall under the hammer are videos dealing with sexually explicit topics. No more hot blondes giving instructions for the perfect blowjob appearing on "Most viewed videos".
YouTube have also decided to demote videos with excessive profanity. Oh fuck. Several people have sent me messages asking "Won't this affect you?" To which I have responded "Derrrrrrrr!" After thinking about it for a while, I'm not hugely bothered by this so long as YouTube only "demotes" swearing videos and they don't remove them entirely. Me saying "shut the fuck up" 20 times in 60 seconds may not be the most suitable viewing for children.
There is no shortage of people shrieking hysterically about this. By and large, they are fucking idiots. The drama queens calling for mass boycotts crack me up. "I'm leaving YouTube," they wail, "join me and we'll teach them a lesson." Fucking idiots. If this is a step too far censorship-wise for you then refusing to participate in the site any longer is a perfectly valid choice. But for the love of the baby Jeebus stop being such a fucking drama queen about it. Go. Do it. Stop fucking talking and clamouring for attention and GO!
Go ahead. Leave. You know what the effect will be? Nothing. Nada. Zip. Fuck all. Those hundred people who say they're joining you? They're lying. They don't give a fuck and they'll come back to YouTube simply because it has the videos they want to see. Even if they're telling the truth and they never come back, the effect on YouTube would be zero. The number of people who would give a shit if I packed up and left is statistically so close to zero I may as well have never existed. For fuck's sake, Fred (the number one subscribed person on YouTube) could leave and that would barely be a blip on the radar. The site would continue without noticing and other people would take his place.
So please, all the people proclaiming their outrage at these changes: get your hand off it. I mean it. If you pull your (metaphorical) cock any harder you'll rip it right off. Take whatever action you think is right for you but do me a favour and shut the fuck up about it. Nobody gives a shit. To paraphrase Yoda: "Do or do not. There is no pointless shrieking like a whiny little bitch."
The one thing that concerns me is the likely abuse of the flagging process now that YouTube has broadened what content will be flagged as "adult". This doesn't bother me because of any new standards, it bothers me because of YouTube's established track record. Essentially there is a parade of fucking idiotic decisions in their past and I would expect this to get worse, not better.
To clarify, this isn't about me. Almost none of my videos have ever been flagged (maybe two or three). But I have seen flagging decisions in the past that simply beggar belief. YouTube claims that someone on staff reviews all videos flagged by viewers and only takes action if they decide the video truly breaches their guidelines. Given the number of times I have seen videos flagged that definitely DO NOT breach their guidelines (YouTube later agreed and changed the decision) there is one of two conclusions to draw. One is that YouTube is lying and they don't have any comprehensive review process. Two is that they employ complete fucking morons to fulfil this role.
YouTube NEVER respond to the community. Not even to say "No, you can't have that." But if they were going to listen, I'd like them to respond to these suggestions:
Breaking it down, YT seem to have two main goals. First is to randomly generate the thumbnail for videos to fight what's commonly referred to as "thumbnail cheating" and second is to remove or at least demote the more "adult" content from the "most viewed" etc. lists of videos.
The change to thumbnails isn't going to generate a significant outcry. For those who don't know, prior to this change, YouTube chose the exact centre frame of video to represent that video as a thumbnail. Once you knew that you could edit your video in such a way that you controlled what would appear in the thumbnail. People have been complaining for years that showing boobies (or the suggestion of boobies or something similar) automatically grabbed a huge number of video views and many high profile YouTubers were accused of gaming the system.
I know from my own depressing experience that this works. My most viewed video was one where I exploited this. Horny desperadoes who were fooled by the hot babe in the thumbnail and/or the deceptive description were instead lectured by me on the perils of excessive masturbation. Two millions views later I wonder why I bothered. That statistic is really depressing to someone who puts a lot of effort into most of their videos (my highest views for non-thumbnail cheating video is about 300,000). It will kind of suck to not be able to choose how a video is represented (a grey blur does not attract many viewers) but if it stops the boobie thumbnails I guess it's kinda worth it. [update: I've noticed YouTube is giving the opportunity to upload a specific image as the thumbnail but they threaten to cane you if you break their guidelines]
The demoting of "adult" content is where it gets interesting. One of the main ways to get your videos seen by new and/or casual YouTube viewers is by appearing on one of their "Most..." lists. If your video is "flagged" as inappropriate then you don't appear on these lists (or the video may be removed altogether) and so your video is likely to get viewed less overall. Admittedly, this has a bigger effect on people who are already reasonably popular. YouTube hasn't said they'll be deleting more videos but they have said they'll be broadening their definition of "adult" and any videos identified as such will be removed from the listings.
The fact that prominently displayed boobie cleavage and booty shaking will disappear from the "most viewed" videos will be a massive relief to most YouTubers. By "most" I mean those not blessed with nubile female bodies that can attract crowds simply by parading around while scantily clad. There, I'm jealous, I admit it. Also to fall under the hammer are videos dealing with sexually explicit topics. No more hot blondes giving instructions for the perfect blowjob appearing on "Most viewed videos".
YouTube have also decided to demote videos with excessive profanity. Oh fuck. Several people have sent me messages asking "Won't this affect you?" To which I have responded "Derrrrrrrr!" After thinking about it for a while, I'm not hugely bothered by this so long as YouTube only "demotes" swearing videos and they don't remove them entirely. Me saying "shut the fuck up" 20 times in 60 seconds may not be the most suitable viewing for children.
There is no shortage of people shrieking hysterically about this. By and large, they are fucking idiots. The drama queens calling for mass boycotts crack me up. "I'm leaving YouTube," they wail, "join me and we'll teach them a lesson." Fucking idiots. If this is a step too far censorship-wise for you then refusing to participate in the site any longer is a perfectly valid choice. But for the love of the baby Jeebus stop being such a fucking drama queen about it. Go. Do it. Stop fucking talking and clamouring for attention and GO!
Go ahead. Leave. You know what the effect will be? Nothing. Nada. Zip. Fuck all. Those hundred people who say they're joining you? They're lying. They don't give a fuck and they'll come back to YouTube simply because it has the videos they want to see. Even if they're telling the truth and they never come back, the effect on YouTube would be zero. The number of people who would give a shit if I packed up and left is statistically so close to zero I may as well have never existed. For fuck's sake, Fred (the number one subscribed person on YouTube) could leave and that would barely be a blip on the radar. The site would continue without noticing and other people would take his place.
So please, all the people proclaiming their outrage at these changes: get your hand off it. I mean it. If you pull your (metaphorical) cock any harder you'll rip it right off. Take whatever action you think is right for you but do me a favour and shut the fuck up about it. Nobody gives a shit. To paraphrase Yoda: "Do or do not. There is no pointless shrieking like a whiny little bitch."
The one thing that concerns me is the likely abuse of the flagging process now that YouTube has broadened what content will be flagged as "adult". This doesn't bother me because of any new standards, it bothers me because of YouTube's established track record. Essentially there is a parade of fucking idiotic decisions in their past and I would expect this to get worse, not better.
To clarify, this isn't about me. Almost none of my videos have ever been flagged (maybe two or three). But I have seen flagging decisions in the past that simply beggar belief. YouTube claims that someone on staff reviews all videos flagged by viewers and only takes action if they decide the video truly breaches their guidelines. Given the number of times I have seen videos flagged that definitely DO NOT breach their guidelines (YouTube later agreed and changed the decision) there is one of two conclusions to draw. One is that YouTube is lying and they don't have any comprehensive review process. Two is that they employ complete fucking morons to fulfil this role.
YouTube NEVER respond to the community. Not even to say "No, you can't have that." But if they were going to listen, I'd like them to respond to these suggestions:
- Explain EXACTLY how the flagging review process works. How many flaggings are investigated each day? How many staff are employed to do this?
- Develop and publicise a review process for flaggings. Tell people who believe their videos have been unfairly flagged exactly what steps to follow and what response they can expect in what timeframe.
- Give Partners the benefit of the doubt. Give them someone they can go to directly if they feel they've been unfairly flagged. If they're willing to put their partnership on the line over it then listen to them!
- Give registered over-18 users the option to see flagged videos in the "Most..." lists. Preferably with the ability to filter (e.g. I want to see profanity but not boobies)
Actually, all my suggestions to YouTube always come back to one thing: would you guys PLEASE fucking communicate with us?
Monday, December 08, 2008
Reggie Watts - Fuck Shit Stack
Here's a little moment from YouTube Live (some two weeks in the past now) that I feel compelled to share. Who says swearing indicated lack of intelligence? Lots of people but fuck them - they're wrong.
I wandered around outside the YTL venue quite a bit before the show. Partly because I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing and partly because there was so much to see. And one of the things I saw was the performer I christened the Post-Modern Beatboxer. Because I had no idea who he was and the way he deconstructed language was brilliant. It turns out his name is Reggie Watts.
When I first saw him starting I was dissing him as another bloody beatboxer. Then the lyrics started. He had me at "Yo, where my gerunds at?" Then the swearing started. At that point, I wanted to have his babies.
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=fuJw7gx1IsM
I wandered around outside the YTL venue quite a bit before the show. Partly because I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing and partly because there was so much to see. And one of the things I saw was the performer I christened the Post-Modern Beatboxer. Because I had no idea who he was and the way he deconstructed language was brilliant. It turns out his name is Reggie Watts.
When I first saw him starting I was dissing him as another bloody beatboxer. Then the lyrics started. He had me at "Yo, where my gerunds at?" Then the swearing started. At that point, I wanted to have his babies.
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=fuJw7gx1IsM
Thursday, December 04, 2008
The community OWNZ YouTube
Those who have been paying close attention would know that I christened November "Tube-Vember" due to the large amount of YouTube related activity I had that month. And because I am almost totally unembarrassed by using stupid neologisms.
To summarise: we had a mini-gathering in Melbourne on Nov 15th, I flew to the US for YouTube Live a week later and was in Sydney for the big Australian gathering fo the year the week after that (landed home in Melbourne on Monday). That was a lot crammed into about 2 weeks which ended up feeling like both a long time and a short time.
Long because there was so much activity crammed in there it gave the illusion of much more elapsed time than it really was (this was essentially a year's worth of partying for me crammed into one month). Short because 2 weeks really isn't a very long time. And I would have liked to stretch out the US trip in particular for a month or so.
My one feeling at the end of all this is that it's all about the community. People are fond of bemoaning the lack/death of community in YouTube (I've been know to muse on this myself) but I have to say, the community is alive and well. People who feel like there's no community need to look inwards for the answer rather than outwards. Or better still, piss off as they're clearly part of the problem rather than the solution.
At YouTube Live I met both the high flyers (a significant chunk of the top 20 were there) and the average folk - people I interact with regularly through subscriptions and comments. While it's easy (and a little cheesy) to say the "real" people were the soul of the event I have to say, the "A-listers" I spoke to were universally nice. Even people I didn't "like" were nice. I put "like" in quotes because these were people I didn't actually know but I had formed opinions of them from their activity on YouTube.
I'm still alternately amused, dumbfounded and frustrated with how badly YouTube misses what the community wants. The scale of what they have achieved with a video sharing site would have sounded impossible only a few short years ago and now we take it for granted. They got the hard stuff right and they still don't seem to understand how easy it would be to keep the community happy. And they don't COMMUNICATE! YouTube Live seemed to succeed as a community event despite YouTube rather than because of them.
But still, when I say "OWNZ" I mean the community is the best part of YouTube, not that YouTube has to do whatever some amorphous "community" tells them. YouTube can do whatever they want. Besides, what the community is and what it means will vary from person to person. Communities are like that. It's completely pointless the way some people try to force their interpretation of community on everyone else. Even when they are a part of a community, people remain individuals.
The best advice I can offer is know what you want for yourself and stick to that. If you can't find like minded people then maybe you need to reconsider. Or maybe you simply don't need other people. The idiots who do the bleating about other people not meeting their standards of community behaviour are usually losers that nobody wants to associate with anyway. Leave them to their delusions.
For all its shortcomings, I'll always be grateful for the opportunities YouTube provides. And I know that I'm part of a fucking awesome community.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
My new career
I am seriously working on developing a career change and moving into public speaking - specifically on IT and new media related topics. I picture myself as being the "funny guy" they use to close IT conferences. I've been thinking about this because
(a) I seem to have more first hand knowledge than most people I see presenting, and
(b) I'm a far better speaker than most people I see
And I want some of the money these people are making, dammit! I want to be flown around the world to talk and be treated like I'm an expert! Because I'm shallow that way. I already have some presentation ideas I'm working on:
You're stupid - what to do about it (for management conferences)
Project management - why it's bollocks
IT staff - lazy, overpaid slackers or priceless diamonds you should cherish forever?
Why the latest internet fad is pointless but you should follow it anyway
And a presentation I'd love to give to the music and/or movie business: "You are evil, rapacious scum and your customers will eventually drag you into the street and burn you at the stake"
I'm looking forward to this new career.
(a) I seem to have more first hand knowledge than most people I see presenting, and
(b) I'm a far better speaker than most people I see
And I want some of the money these people are making, dammit! I want to be flown around the world to talk and be treated like I'm an expert! Because I'm shallow that way. I already have some presentation ideas I'm working on:
You're stupid - what to do about it (for management conferences)
Project management - why it's bollocks
IT staff - lazy, overpaid slackers or priceless diamonds you should cherish forever?
Why the latest internet fad is pointless but you should follow it anyway
And a presentation I'd love to give to the music and/or movie business: "You are evil, rapacious scum and your customers will eventually drag you into the street and burn you at the stake"
I'm looking forward to this new career.
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Did you miss me?
I feel almost embarrassed at how much I've neglected this blog over the last couple of months. I haven't felt like I've had the right mindset for writing longer pieces and I have this weird thing where I feel that writing shorter pieces is kind of cheating. Which is stupid. I get like that.
Given that I've been posting videos to YouTube almost every day I could simply have posted those here with a bit of commentary. Which I might start doing. Again. But I'm also making plans for a possible career change and writing more would help me develop that. So, in short, there is likely to be much more activity here.
Plus, I'm back from my brief visit to the USA and I didn't get arrested or killed. I have to admit, my paranoia did not subside until I was safely home. At the start of the trip I was simply worried I'd have some nasty run-in with homeland "security" and end up getting kicked out. From then on I was paranoid that I'd lose my gear or myself.
All in all in was a fantastic trip but all too short (3 days in San Francisco and 3 days in Los Angeles). It did fill me with new positivity about YouTube and the people involved. The central part of the trip was going to see "YouTube Live" in San Francisco. The show was actually much better than I expected and everyone I met was really nice - including the people I don't like on YouTube.
I'm not sure if I was star struck or if it was simply sensory overload but being surrounded by a dozen people who each have hundreds of thousands of subscribers on YouTube was a surreal experience. Especially when one of them (Michael Buckley) said he was star struck meeting me.
So I'm going forward with a renewed faith in online "community", feeling creatively charged up and looking for some challenges and new horizons. Watch out, anything could happen.
Given that I've been posting videos to YouTube almost every day I could simply have posted those here with a bit of commentary. Which I might start doing. Again. But I'm also making plans for a possible career change and writing more would help me develop that. So, in short, there is likely to be much more activity here.
Plus, I'm back from my brief visit to the USA and I didn't get arrested or killed. I have to admit, my paranoia did not subside until I was safely home. At the start of the trip I was simply worried I'd have some nasty run-in with homeland "security" and end up getting kicked out. From then on I was paranoid that I'd lose my gear or myself.
All in all in was a fantastic trip but all too short (3 days in San Francisco and 3 days in Los Angeles). It did fill me with new positivity about YouTube and the people involved. The central part of the trip was going to see "YouTube Live" in San Francisco. The show was actually much better than I expected and everyone I met was really nice - including the people I don't like on YouTube.
I'm not sure if I was star struck or if it was simply sensory overload but being surrounded by a dozen people who each have hundreds of thousands of subscribers on YouTube was a surreal experience. Especially when one of them (Michael Buckley) said he was star struck meeting me.
So I'm going forward with a renewed faith in online "community", feeling creatively charged up and looking for some challenges and new horizons. Watch out, anything could happen.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
remembrance day
There is a lot of talk in Australia this remembrance day about how Australians place too much importance on the Gallipoli campaign when thinking of World War One and tend to ignore the European campaign that was by far the biggest part of the war. Former Prime Minister Paul Keating has caused quite a stir recently on this topic.
This article also has some interesting statistics about Australian troops in WWI:
- 50,000 served in Gallipoli while 250,000 served in Europe
- 8,700 died in Gallipoli while 46,000 dies in Europe
- The fought 8 battles in Gallipoli and 40 in Europe
- 9 Victoria Crosses were awarded to Australians in Gallipoli and 52 VCs were awarded in Europe
- The Gallipoli campaign lasted 8 months while the European campaign lasted two and a half years
And perhaps most importantly, Gallipoli was a military disaster while on the Western Front Australians fought under Australian command for the first time and achieved many victories (as much as anything that happened in the horrofic waste of life that was WWI can be called a victory). The AIF only constituted 10% of Allied forces but won 25% of enemy territory, prisoners of war, arms and ammunition. SO it's about time more Australians gave them their due for what they really achieved.
[youtube=http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=NOz08MNkwPI]
The quote at the end is from the most famous poem from World War One - "Dulce et Decorum Est"
Sunday, November 09, 2008
Vicar with a potato in his bum
I'm not saying that religious orders specifically attract perverted people. I'm not saying that people who preach morality to others have a disturbing habit of indulging in extreme perversions of their own. But it's really noticeable when it's true.
[youtube=http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=WWkrSZ_Yfc8]
An old sketch comedy show in Australia was actually called the Naked Vicar Show - I'm sure they would have had a field day with this. This story has, unsurprisingly, been covered quite a bit in the media. I think my favourite is this collection of stories from The Guardian.
I really don't get people in this situation making up absurd lies - it's obvious what really happened. When you make up appalling lies it makes you untrustworthy as well as kinky.
Saturday, November 08, 2008
Dedicated to the disgusting freak at work
As I look back on my history of around 850 blog posts and 750 YouTube videos, I notice a disturbing amount of them are concerned with toilets and/or poo. And I'm not about to stop.
[youtube=http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=MMiScJRFSV0]
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