Horseshit and bollocks

I was just at the movies and noticed a poster for the forthcoming sequel to The DaVinci Code, Angel and Demons. A more accurate title would be Horseshit and Bollocks. I've never bothered to read any of Dan Brown's books or watched the previous movie. The list of books I want to read before that is too long and life is too short. For that reason I won't pass judgement on his writing - there's plenty of other people doing that. Whether his writing is good or bad is immaterial to why his books and more specifically the hype around them pisses me off.
Bad fiction I can deal with. But when a hack writer uses the hype of "this is inspired by the truth" to sell books I feel like getting out the angry hammer and looking for skulls to crack. Particularly annoying is how it appeals to conspiracy theory whackjobs. And in case anyone is unclear on how I feel about those brain dead, self-important conspiracy-spouting shit-weasels who'd rather jack off to their insane fantasies of how they are the only ones clever enough to see through vast conspiracies that "the sheeple" are duped by... well, I think they're just super.
I really want to reiterate that this isn't about the quality (or lack thereof) of Dan Brown's writing. I don't look down on people who read and enjoy his books. Lots of intelligent people I know fall into this category. I simply choose not to do so myself. It's the fucked up "wooo isn't it spooky that all these secrets exist" bullshit that I can't tolerate. If the choice is between reading nothing and reading Dan Brown then definitely read Dan Brown. Even ingesting the verbal diarrhoea that Oprah recommends is better than simply watching Oprah.
That goes for Twilight too. It's really trendy to say the Twilight books are shit and they only appeal to dippy little girls and Mormons. They are still fucking books! Reading is a good thing! You know what I started out reading? Comic books. And how many idiotic adults think they are trash that should be banned? I'm not even talking about deep and meaningful "graphic novels" - I'm talking trashy, pulpy comic books. Then I graduated to reading Doctor Who novelisations.
If any adult had tried to rip these from my grasp and force me to read "real books" that would have been the last thing I ever read. But because I was reading what I wanted, I enjoyed reading and slowly progressed to more challenging books. These days I even occasionally commit literature. Why do people not get this and insist on telling those who read things they don't approve of to stop that right now! They'll stop all right. And never pick up a book again.
So yeah, if Dan Brown would lay off his "it's true!" schtick I'd be less inclined to want to bash his brains out with a cricket bat. Even if he is a shitty writer.