Sunday, March 26, 2006

The People!

What the hell is wrong with you people?

It was never my intention to oppress people when I become supreme overlord but I can see "tough love" isn't gonna cut it. Until I can instill some basic decency in you savages it's going to be the rule of the iron fist. A little example:

Summer, trams, peak hour... what's missing from this list?


I'll say it again: What the hell is wrong with you people? It isn't a new invention, it isn't even expensive! You can afford to use it every day. Seriously. You're not special, you stink. Goats stink, dogs stink, PEOPLE STINK!

Soap and deodorant people, it's what separates us from the beasts. And why is the bloke holding on to the overhead handstrap putting his armpit level with my nose always the stinkiest one on the whole damn tram? And yes, the worst ones are invariably male. They've discovered internet porn but not deodorant.

I'm drawing up plans for re-education camps now.

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