Friday, September 07, 2007

What's a Republican's favourite sex fetish?

The cavalcade of embarrassing revelations about the secret lives of ultra-conservatives that seem
to come out every day have me wondering. Is the easiest way to work out what a Republican's fetish is to look at what he denounces? Consider the evidence provided bu just a few recent examples:

  • Bob Allen (Florida Chairman of John McCain's Presidential Campaign) gets caught offering a dude money to suck his dick in a public toilet. Turns out dude was an undercover cop.
  • Glen Murphy Jnr (National Chairman of the Young Republicans) is facing charges for sucking a sleeping dude's dick. Turns out sleeping dude wasn't a willing participant
  • Senator Larry Craig is another closeted Republican with the poor judgement to proposition an undercover cop in a public toilet
  • Mark Foley, champion of all who oppose child predators online, spends his free time sending sexually explicit text messages to teenagers who work in his office
  • Ted Haggard, leader of the National Association of Evangelicals, gets busted for liaisons with a gay prostitute that involve plenty of butt sex and crack smoking. This guy's my personal favourite as despite railing against "immorality" generally and homosexuality specifically for years, he managed to (a) hook up with a prostitute (b) have plenty of gay sex and (c) do hard drugs.
I have nothing against rational adults engaging in consensual sex (gay, prostitute-assisted or otherwise) and even doing drugs. It's the hypocrisy I can't stand. And the REAL conservatives, the REAL Republicans, the REAL christians must be having a far worse time than me trying to deal with these hypocritical scumbags. I never liked them, but when they're the champions of your cause, it's gotta hurt.

I'm serious about Rick Santorum by the way. I have no doubt he will eventually be revealed to be into some REALLY sick stuff. When an evangelical minister does crack with a gay escort, nothing is impossible.

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