Friday, May 25, 2007

Cooking with Mr Angry

I'm thinking of making some cooking videos. Seriously. I like to do different things occasionally and it would be good to do something that might surprise people. I'm actually a pretty good cook and I reckon I could teach people a few simple recipes. With a Mr Angry twist, of course.

To give you an example of a Mr Angry twist I provide you this illustration of some stupid crap I have to put up with at work. I'm a big fan of the toasted sandwich (I think I may have mentioned that before.) I think the simple act of toasting a sandwich makes it taste much better. I'm one of those type who thinks it isn't a good toasted sandwich unless there's butter on the outside.

I say butter for ease of reference but I also mean that to include margarine and any other weird vegetable oil based spread (what the fuck is a stearate anyway?)

Putting the butter on the outside makes it taste better and it smells good while cooking as well. I'm always looking for ways to add a little extra taste and one thing I really like to add to the butter on the outside is powdered/grated parmesan cheese. This smells and tastes great and makes the outside go really crispy. Awesome.

Now, of course, the "smells and tastes great" is only my opinion and it's an opinion not shared by everybody. Using parmesan in the workplace may well generate complaints of a "horrible stink". Like I give a shit. Even stranger than people who don't like the smell are people who do like the smell but complain anyway because "it's making me hungry". Whatever, freako. When did I become your mother? Go eat something if you're so fucking hungry and leave me the fuck alone.

That's the sort of attitude I'd bring to a cooking show. When I'm cooking a meal you'd best be speaking up early if you're not fond of garlic, mushrooms and/or cheese because I tend to put shitloads of each of these into whatever I'm cooking. Even if it doesn't seem appropriate.

On many occasions I've brought food that I've made at home in to work and people have asked me for the recipe. So I tell them something like it has mushrooms and garlic... then they ask me what quantities are involved. How much garlic should I put in? I dunno, how much do you like? If I made some videos I could point the questioners in that direction when they ask, so they'd end up getting advice like this:

"OK, so put plenty of garlic in here. There's really no such thing as too much garlic. Some people will disagree and say they can't handle a lot of garlic. You know what? Fuck those people."

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