I had an interesting chat with my friend Adrian Calear last week. He's a director (he directed the shows for the comedians I featured during the recent Melbourne Comedy Festival - you can see the videos under the link at the top of this page) and he knows what he talking about. He's been in the performing/directing caper for longer than I've been in IT and he's seen the sorts of things that frustrate performers.
Remember last week when I was having a self-indulgent rant about not being as famous as I deserved to be (particularly on YouTube)? Adrian has seen this dozens of times and gone through it himself. essentially, it seems that it's quite common for a performer to think "hey, I'm better than that loser! Why is that bastard getting all the attention that is rightfully mine?"
It doesn't really matter if you're right - obsessing over other people like that does you no good. Not only will it eat you up, you'll probably miss when you actually have achieved something worth celebrating. Gotta look for the good times not obsess over the bad times.
So, in short, no more emo behaviour from me. For now. For anyone who was actually worried, I knew it was self indulgent crap at the time. I just felt like having a spray. I get like that sometimes.