Thursday, March 22, 2007

The cold water thieves

The whole issue of water is pretty fraught in Australia right now, taking into account the annoying fact that we simply don't have enough of it. But I'm not writing about big water issues today, I'm writing about smaller, more personal water issues.

Namely, the cold water dispenser at work. The kitchenettes where I work all have this thingie (a technical term - I can't help myself, I'm a nerd) that dispenses filtered water. It has two little levers; you press one and you get boiling water (a lawsuit waiting to happen if you ask me), you press the other and you get chilled water.

I like really cold drinks. Eagle-eyed viewer may notice that there is often a drink next to me in my videos. This is a large glass, usually stacked to the top with ice then the gaps are filled with my beverage of choice. There are no freezers at my workplace so I can't have ice (I can tell you're asking yourself, "How does he survive such hardship? Surely he's the reincarnation of Mother Theresa"). So when I get a glass of chilled water I want it to be really chilled.

Not everyone feels this way, for some people the water that comes out of the dispenser is too cold. Boo hoo. Stop complaining about inconsequential things you whiners. The real injustice for me happens when someone gets to the dispenser just before me and they fill up a really large bottle or jug. The dispenser has a reservoir of chilled water and if the person before me takes all the chilled water, my drink isn't as cold as I like it. The injustice!

Someone almost earned a punch in the head today for their water gathering behaviour. My first inward sigh of disappointment came when they started filling up a large container, thus depriving me of the most chilled water. Then, they topped off the container with boiling water because the chilled water was too cold for them!

What the fuck?!?!?!?!

So they took all my fucking chilled water and then wasted it by adding boiling water. And they think that's acceptable behaviour. There ought to be a law against that sort of thing. And when I'm supreme overlord of the Earth, there will be.

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