Monday, June 25, 2007

Road Conversation #1 - MC NoseJizz

The conversation is started by Adrian twanging on his nose. I'll have to leave "twanging" to your imagination as there are no sound effects to go with this post. Essentially he was flicking his nose rhythmically while making a vaguely musical sound in accompaniment.

"That's really special. Just the thing to make the drive go faster."

"Why thank you, it's nice to be appreciated."

"I can't belive you aren't more widely appreciated for that. What the hell are you actually doing?"

"Well, I'm trying to clear some man juice that's lodged up there after a particularly spectacular blow."

"Sorry I missed that. The musical aspect is a nice addition"

"That part I have actually been appreciated for, it's been a major part of my career."

"Oh wow, were you MC NoseJizz back in the 90s?"

"That was one of my stage names, yes."

"I'm a big fan, I bought all of your CDs. And your signature range of tissues."

"It isn't about me, it's about you. It's always been about the fans."

"And the jizz."

"The fans and the jizz. Preferably the jizz on the fans. Nothing ever mad me as happy as when I was unloading a good spray onto some fans."

"It was always hard to get front row tickets for your shows."

"I prided myself on always going well beyond the front row. I couldn't sleep at night for worrying that there were fans who weren't wearing enough of my jizz on their faces."

"Is that why you would get the backing band to help?"

"They helped but it was never enough. That's why I franchised the MC NoseJizz concept, including the female MC NoseJizz."

"Sistah SoulJizz?"

"That was her. I had high hopes for Sistah SoulJizz but her heart was never really in it."

"She didn't care enough about the jizz?"

"She didn't realise how important the jizz was. It was all about the fame to her, I tried to explain to her that the jizz was bigger than any one person but she never really got it."

"Maybe it was because she was always reliant on you for the jizz."

"I think that was it, she never really valued the jizz, she thought she was better than the jizz."

"I'm sure that's why the public turned on her."

"Yep. One night she went on stage with her nose only half full of jizz. That was the beginning of the end."

"If only more people realised that, you'll never get anywhere with your nose only half full of jizz..."

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