I'm all for sharing, I'm virtually a communist. So long as everybody gets the fuck out of my way when I want to do something. In this apartment building I have to share a laundry even though I have my own washing machine because there's no damn washing machine taps in my flat. Which wasn't that bad because I figured out something out to my advantage. In my suburb generally and my building specifically there are a lot of orthodox Jews so they wont use the machine on Saturday because of the Sabbath. Ha ha! Organised religion works in my favour for once!
So I never used to have trouble getting machines when I wanted them and life was good. Then some fucker (probably a mechanic) washes clothes soaked in oil so all my clothes get ruined by fucking oil stains when I wash them in the same machine later. I don't have a problem with mechanics but what sort of fuckwit washes oily clothes in a machine that other people have to use? I'll tell you what sort: the sort I'm going to hunt down and kill. OK, well not kill but something terrible is going to happen to them. I haven't decided what exactly but it won't be nice.
With all the busyness this weekend it gets to sunday afternoon and I haven't done my washing and someone else is using the machine so I have to wait and now my stuff is in the dryer which is going to take hours so I'm blogging in the meantime but I have to take my kid's back to their mum's place soon and if I wait for my clothes to dry first I won't be back home from the drive until fucking midnight or something but if I leave my stuff unattended in the dryer some freak might get at them and steal
In the meantime, I'm open to suggestions on what to with the oily bastard who keeps ruining my clothes.
6 comments:
I'm thinking a fitting punishment would be along the lines of tarring and feathering, or at least greasing him up and then covering him with toilet paper for instance, if you can't get feathers. Of course you have to capture him and strip him naked first. And make sure you have someone standing by to take photos.
That sounds disturbingly precise Michelle, almost as if you have planned this revenge against someone else? Or, dare I say it... done it already? Hmmm, and the photos idea, I must look at your flickr stream more closely.
Alright - I have such a "non angry" solutin that I am wary of even suggesting it for you.
Find the mechanic and ask him nicely to never use e.g. the first machine - and then you only always use that "non-oily" machine.
And as for leaving your laundry till Sunday - well you have only yourself to be angry about that! :-)
Dr Nazli: Thanks for your suggestion. Unfortunately, there is only one machine but I have an alternate solution of washing clothes at my girlfriend's place from now on. And as for waiting until sunday - you are absolutely right! I let the weekend get away from me.
dude.
just track this dude down to an apartment number.
then call up a hooker and say you're interested in roleplaying and you're willing to pay big bucks, but she's not to mention price or break character until after the nefarious deed is done.
she's to play a lady who's had a big fight with her boyfriend in the flats and needs consoling... and lots of bondage sex.
(if you're feeling particularly nasty do a little homework and make sure the hooker's got some communicable disease)
once the deed is done she'll ask for payment and he'll be all like wtf???
and that's when the cops arrive because "someone" gave them an anonymous tip that there's a dude snorting cocaine and beating on hookers in the flat...
make sure you got your camera out :)
dude: you are seriosuly messed up. I mean that in the best possible way :) Mental note: don't get on zentar's bad side - he will fuck you up.
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