Thursday, May 25, 2006

You Always Hurt The One You Love

Christian love or S&M fetish? You be the judge. is one of my regular reads and they have a feature article on an apparently growing trend among some Christians known as "training up" or more commonly known as corporal punishment. You have to watch an ad to read full articles on the site but I think it's worth it.

Read it here.


Dr. Nazli said...

Glad you posted this - I have thought about this process of hitting a child to discipline - sorry to "train" them.

In some cultures it is actually perfectly acceptable - not just a spank, but actual slaps and bodily assault - "to raise the child well".

Rubbish! The memory of being hurt physically will remain with the children (from whom the spontaneity of living is reduced) always and they may never be able to forgive their parents for that.

Children should and must be trained to behave - that is the parental duty - but parents don't own children and have no right to hurt them physically. In fact, I would say that if they need to hurt the child to make them listen, then they are poor parents!

Physical abuse is never love.

(fake pearls of wisdom to the Pearl parents in the salon article)


zenstar said...

children aren't pets.
unless you're training them to jump through hoops i think teaching them discipline is what you mean.
that doesn't mean the use of force. there are many ways of teaching.

i agree with the no abuse thing. but there is something to be said for a spanking (and not just the fun kind;)
basically: spanking a child is not inherently wrong. it shouldn't be the first resort, but it should remain an option.
however: if you do any real damage (including bruising) you're abusing the kid.
i was spanked as a child (maybe this isn't the best example) and i have no problem with it. i was never actually hurt and i think i was brought up quite well.
remember: spanking is not slapping or bodily assault.

lumping them all together is the same as saying "all muslims wear a vest made of TNT," simply because a few nutjobs have blown themselves up.
(btw: i agree with the "suicide" part of suicide bombing. if you want to blow up innocent people then suicide should be your first option. you don't even need the bomb.)

physical abuse is not love. but spanking is not physical abuse. hitting is and there's a definite line between the two.
and if a parent is too stupid to know the difference then they shouldn't be allowed kids in the first place (chemical castration, yes. kids, no.)

Mr Angry said...

Dr Nazli: this is another situation that I think gets devalued by black/white comparisons. The Pearls seem to think that any kid that isn't "trained" to their standards is automatically an axe murderer which is obviously not true.

Zenstar: Yes, I'm still waiting for the introduction of the test that determines if someone is fit to be a parent.

pigeon weather said...

training! i like to say "if you want obedience, get a dog"

mooncrazy said...

Oh hell, the religious right scare the pants off of me anyway. This doesn't suprise me at all.

Parenting is difficult with the best kids but using something other than your hand is abuse. If it hurts you it hurts them and never spank in anger. Never do anything in anger except rant on your blog.

I can't believe I'm agreeing with zenstar.