Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Invasion of the Gay Cane Toads

Environmental disasters causes by the careless introduction of foreign species makes me angry. In Australia we have feral foxes, pigs, cats, camels and possibly the most toxic of all - the cane toad. The idea was that introducing cane toads would help the sugar cane crops in the north because the toads would eat bugs that were troubling the crops. They didn't eat the bugs and ever since they have been breeding at a prodigious rate and slowly but inexorably spreading across the entire country.

They kill a huge amount of native animals and many efforts have been made to stop them. The latest idea is to genetically engineer some toad embryos so you end up with an all male toad population - no more breeding. This sounds like a fine idea - genetically engineered mutant poisonous toads; what could possibly go wrong?

My issue with this is that I've seen the movie "Cane Toads - an Unnatural History" and one interesting fact a naturalist pointed out in that movie was that cane toads are incredibly horny. He witness one of them humping a dead one that had been squashed by a car. So if this population is made all male, there's only one possible outcome: hordes of gay cane toads! This ought to push the government into action - they seem to think expending their energy stopping gay marriage is a good idea so I'm sure they won't put up with gay cane toads humping in the streets.

4 comments:

Michelle said...

And if not that, there's a movie to be made out of it somewhere.

allmylovins said...

Why do people always have to get involved? If they left the toads in Hawaii where they belong there would not be this problem. And the cure to this problem will cause an even greater one. I know they have good intentions, but don't piss-off mother-nature. She had pretty good control over things until humans came along and screwed with it. Yes, they have good intentions but not good foresight. Plan for what the male frogs will do. Are they going to turn to another species and take out their sexual frustrations there? Yikes!!! Keep the kids inside. This will not be pretty.

This is not just movie material. I can see the name of a new-age rock group (the Humping Gay Toads) and a musical (The All Male Toad Review)

moonflake said...

um, don't some species of frogs and toads change sex when environmental pressures cause one sex to become too dominant? This is sooooo reminding me of Jurassic Park... "But they're all male, they can't breed."

Mr Angry said...

It certainly does seem like a movie in the making, doesn't it.

They genetically engineered cane toads to protect the environment...

They thought they were doing the right thing...

They were WRONG!