Thursday, April 13, 2006

Driving Me Crazy

Ahhhh, some days, this blog writes itself. Who am I kidding, it always writes itself. The whole reason for the Mr Angry persona is very simple: there are so many damn things that happen every day that make me angry!

I haven't ranted for a while about how crap other people's driving is and I had quite a bit of inspiration on the drive into work today. I'll narrow it down to the ones who virtually had a neon sign above them saying "I am a moron and deserve to be force fed cane toads until I choke."

First, another piece of evidence that 4WD drivers are evolutionary mistakes. I was stuck behind one today who decided they had to slow to an almost complete stop to go over a speed bump. In a 4WD. With about a metre ground clearance. And that stupid raised suspension that means I can never see past them.

I mean, I know these wankers are never taking their vehicles off-road - that goes with saying. But they're scared of a fucking speed hump? Jeebus on toast! You should be able to take a damn speed hump at 80 and not even feel it. Seriously, if you're scared of driving, STAY OFF THE FUCKING ROAD!

And the other flavour of idiot this morning. This one actually did have a sticker on his ute saying he was a moron. Well, what it actually said was "I hunt and I vote". Now, this type of sticker originated (I think) in the US and American readers may think I'm saying he's a moron solely for being a hunter. Not strictly true - it's the wording of the sticker that makes him a moron.

You see, this is Australia - voting is compulsory. Everbody votes. In votiong-optional countries, nutjob lobby groups can have a significant impact because if they can mobilise enough angry knuckle-draggers it's easier to have an effect because of lower voter turnout. Wimpy politicians are more likely to bow to pressure groups when the pressure group might mobilise otherwise apathetic voters into changing an election result.

Guess what? When voting is compulsory, the "I (whatever) and I vote" doesn't make any sense. Everybody votes! You might as well have a sticker reading "I sodomise wallabies and I vote". It's pointless! Have a sticker that makes sense, something like "I hunt and I'm extremely likely to shoot you if you try to stop me owning enough guns to compensate for my impotence caused by a lifetime of sexual abuse from my father" Now that will get some attention.

BTW: Both those stickers are copyrighted by me. If you print them up on stickers (or t-shirts or anything else) I will sue your arse for a million bucks.

1 comment:

Anniina said...

Heheheheheheheh, that post sure gave me a good laugh - I especially liked the "angry knuckle-draggers" phrasing, and I guffawed (yes, you read that right), GUFFAWED at the wallaby sticker. No fears, your copyright is much respected by yours truly. So... where can one buy one of these bumper stickers?