Thursday, April 20, 2006

What the *bleep* are these hippies on?

Don't worry dear readers, I'm not suddenly getting coy on the language front. Fuck no. Just echoing my target for today. It's a literary device - you see, I'm erudite as well as psychotically angry. Okay, time to focus.

I haven't attacked the hippies for a couple of days so I decided to read their propaganda rag again to get fired up. The article that caught my eye this time was titled "What the bleep are ice crystals?" which they take from the title of a recent movie: "What the bleep do we know?" The film basically talks to people about "scientific" theories. I put the word scientific in quotes because a lot in the movie doesn't really match the mainstream definition of science. Even the more orthodox stuff is on the fringes of science but a lot of the stuff they go on about is plain fucking stupid.

And, surprise, surprise, the hippies decide to go with one of the really fucking stupid concepts. Ice crystals. It sounds innocent enough but I don't have to read far before I want to find a hippie head to kick. You see, apparently "water refects consciousness" or, if you prefer, "like a blank CD, water records information". And they have photos that "prove" it. There certainly is a nice array of pictures if ice crystal. I'm not exactly sure how providing a series of images "proves" anything but it seems rational questioning is not the strong suit of these hippies.

I'm not even talking issues of photoshop manipulation here - they simply put up a series of photos and say this is an ice crystal that has been "exposed" to a particular word; love, hate, angel, devil, "do it"... I could put up a series of photos of plants in various states of health and say one was told "I love you", one was told "I hate you" and one was told "George Bush is actually quite intelligent and deserving of our admiration and in fact the citizens of the world have just voted him "Emperor of the world in perpetuity" (that one would have committed suicide).

Saying something doesn't make it so. And photographs don't prove a damn thing. Possibly the stupidest cliche in existence is "the camera doesn't lie". Cameras lie by definition - they produce a fake representation of a real thing. Somewhat like these hippies.

And in case you think I'm being too harsh on them, they go on to christen this phenomenon "hado" - Japanese word meaning vibration. That seems innocuous enough, but then they go straight on to say that hado "is fast becoming the new word for the 'force' popularised by the Jedi knights of Star Wars". Okaaaaay, you guys know Star Wars was science fiction right, not science? That's right, these moronic hippies bolster their claims by tying them to a fictional story.

What the fuck?

Oh, and their world expert on the topic is "Dr Emoto". Yes, their expert on emotional resonance is Dr Emoto and their expert on love has the surname "Love". Do they think they're being funny or are they deliberately insulting our intelligence?


zenstar said...

hippies are the most closed minded people i have ever met!
they claim to "embrace" all cultures and ideas... i think they mean they'll have sex with anyone willing to get past the fact that they have a serious liking for dirt and an even more serious dislike for showers.
moonflake and i had a discussion with a hippy about coloidal silver. moonflake did some research on the net and gave him the information: it turns your skin grey!
his response: "bullshit! you can find anything you want on the net."
he honestly believes that the FDA are some anti-hippy movement trying to oppress the discovery of "real, natural" medicines.
i just suggested he takes larger doses so i can watch him turn grey quicker.

Mr Angry said...

well said zenstar - you reminded me of two incidents from my own life:

One hippy I went to college with claimed he was bi because he was "open to all forms of love". The truth is he wasn't bi, gay or straight - he was an evil manipulative sleazy fuck, who'd screw anyone gullible enough to let him.

Another incident: two stoned hippies at a party ripping on another hippie who didn't meet their lofty standards. One said she was too uptight. The other said he knew why (and this is a direct quote):

"She eats white rice"

The implication being that all her problems would be solved if she stopped eating that evil white rice and started eating brown rice.

I really hate shallowness masquerading as depth.

moonflake said...

zomg, those tree-hugging, crystal-gripping, sandal-wearing fucking hippies and all their hippy bullshit. What the Bleep Do We Know is the biggest pile of steaming faeces ever to be found on the shelf of a video store.

The whole 'memory of water' thing is a load of bull, has been proven to be a load of bull by real scientists, and yet the hippies continue to cling to it like some sort of liferaft in their sea of stupid. They want desperately to believe it because it's the last bastion in their defence against the overwhelming seige of proof that homeopathy doesn't work. The mother of the impending grey man told me that homeopaths have used quantum mechanics to prove that water has a memory; i say bullshit. I would have kicked her in the face but she's my sister's future mother-in-law.

Fucking hippies.

moonflake said...

The fact that they think comparing 'hado' to well-marketed fiction strengthens their argument only goes to show that subconsciously they know someone just made this shit up for money.

oh, and anyway, the 'hado' hippies will have to battle it out with the 'orgone energy' hippies as to who has the claim to being discoverers of the 'force'. Hippy fight! Watch out for flying sandals!

Mr Angry said...

Tell us what you really think Moonflake :D

This mag has some crap about orgone energy too, I'll have to tear into that later. And the ads... the unmitigated bullshit they are trying to sell to people!

Anonymous said...

fuck hippies

. said...

C'mon have you not heard of Dr. Emoto he's the bestest *lmao*

hippie idiots

Mr Angry said...

Ah yes, there was a song wasn't there? Domo arigato Dr Emoto?