Friday, April 14, 2006

My GPS Hates Me

One of my favourite toys is the GPS navigation thingie I got with my car. There are two main reasons I like it - obviously it helps me get places when I don’t know the right way to go. But my second favourite thing is taunting it when I do know the right way to go.

It has this neutral female voice that gives directions without any emotion or inflexion but I can’t help thinking that when I don’t take its advice it gets a bit narky at me. Maybe it’s my imagination but I feel a bit of an edge in its electronic voice when it says “route recaculation u-turn”. It seems to me, the unspoken part of that direction is “listen to me the next time you moron.”

I am quite convinced my GPS thinks its brain its more advanced than mine and it’s a waste of its talents to tell this talking monkey directions… So my little revenge is to tweak it by occasionally ignoring its direction and choosing my own route.

I have a definite image of the GPS in my mind when it talks to me. It looks very much like “Supernanny” on TV - very prim, hair tied back in a tight bun and wearing a black power suit. And it sooooo doesn’t like me. Hah! Damn GPS thinks it is so superior but it isn’t so great. Because of some glitch in its numbering for my street it doesn’t even know where my home is! I have to tell it the side street next to my place so it goes in the right direction.

I pity the fool machine that thinks it’s better than me!

Oh, and what did I get angry about today? Pedestrians. Knuckleheads who apparently think stepping in front of a tonne of moving metal is a good idea. Hey Einstein: you wanna commit suicide? Stay at home and drink some drano. Don’t involve me in your pathetic lives.

3 comments:

Evi said...

There's this girl I work with that I try to be very neutral with because she gets defensive over 'EVERY LITTLE THING', sometimes I wish I were just a machine like a GPS so she could realize how stupid and immature she's being over 'NOTHING'. You have just helped me realize that some people like yourself and her are just paranoid yet get a kick out of arguing for control reasons...enlightening...I could resign to being her tool...I can reconcile that. Thank you!

Mr Angry said...

Hey, I'm here to serve. Wait a minute, did you just rip on me?

Evi said...

YEP...you are a keen one!
snicker-snicker...